Previously published: January, 3, 2011
After I listened to a webcast on Yahoo’s ‘Shine’ about how some women reinvented their lives, their testimonies inspired me to, “Just get busy”. I realized, yet again that I needed to do something different for myself. Throughout the years, I have seen many people’s dreams come to pass. The young girl that I babysat as a teenager, now has a successful business selling popcorn, of all things! She went to the BET awards and placed pictures of herself and her famous people purchasing her popcorn on her Facebook page. I attended college with Larry Bird, who has retired from his basketball career already. For the last, few years my two oldest children have discovered and are cultivating their individual talents and passions. In my position of four years, as an educational recruiter, I had become successful at encouraging people to face their fears and seek their dreams all the while, like an unattended garden my dreams were slowly dying. As much as I wanted to, I could no longer hide behind the excuse that success is for famous people in the news and not really for everyday ordinary people like myself.
Early last year, like a mirage in the desert, I saw a dream formulating in the future with my new husband. For 16 long relentless years my friend patiently waited for me. One day, I quit playing dodgeball with Cupid and was smitten by a very sharp arrow. It was his dream to marry me. “Janice you are my wife.” During those 16 years, I spent more time telling him to go find someone else than I did Photoshopping my own dream. I had resolved within myself that after experiencing two failed marriages. Surely, it was time for this lady to enjoy a blissful marriage, for a change. My idea for my future was to continue enjoying my children, go back to school develop a unique trade. Yet, marriage was not a requirement, not a necessity for me. After careful reconsideration about marriage, I thought to myself, “I will have a purpose, something we can strive for together, our marriage.”
Three months later, I took the marriage receipt back to Cupid, he pointed out the “lemon law disclosure” which was inscribed with .16th font on the rod of the arrow. No exchanges no returns, even if he walks away. Music begins to fill the air around me, “Alone Again, Naturally” Was that Simon and Garfunkel? No! Naturally, I was wrong again, it was actually sung by, Gilbert O’ Sullivan. The only relief I received at that moment was that according to an Internet search, I wasn’t the only person who was confused about the actual singer. Are you familiar with the strange sensation that comes over you after you lock your car door on a cold wintery night and then you realize your car keys are sitting in the driver’s seat? That is the exact feeling I had when I realized how I had helped yet another person realize their dreams, while mine were overgrown with weeds.
As of 2011, I have deleted my ‘supportubutnotme.com’ website. I have received enough hits on it to create a new word for a Google search. I was doing something right, even if it was for someone else. I have been the pillar for new churches, the new leg for everyone’s start-up business. I have encouraged students to pursue their passion and to develop a successful career through education. I encouraged my oldest son to pursue his career in music despite the odds, and my oldest daughter to be sold out for Jesus and now she is in full-time ministry. So, what difference does it make if my ex-husband dies lonely? I’m not mad at him, hope you are not. He was able to fulfill his dreams, of course, with my help. What else were you expecting? Come on! In 2010 or before, if you had a dream … I would direct you to my website supportubutnotme.com. If you were a member, please unsubscribe.
For those women on the Yahoo site, for them, there was a stellar event setting in motion another career much more fulfilling than the one they had left. Me, I just needed to ‘ just do me’. There is no reinvention to initiate here. How could there be when I had not invented the first career yet? It’s time that I develop my quintessential skills and my talents for the purpose God had originally designed for my life. It’s time for me to; support myself, fight for me, and fight for my goals. Just do me! “For whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them.” Matthew 25:29 NIV
